Two versions of Ma'ariv Aravim, a prayer that thanks God for creation:
I see the face of the moon in a sky that's still light -- a little odd, a little special. The moon belongs to night (or night to the moon?), but it's lovely outside its usual setting. I'm moved to praise You, God, Source of blessings, for this beauty. And it's a comfort to know that the moon and sun perform their stately dance at Your direction. They will not collide, and we can enjoy each in its time.
I see the face of the moon in a sky that's still light -- a little odd, a little special. And I think of all the people You have created -- each of us a little odd, a little special. Gay, straight, bi; male, female, or trans -- all of us created in Your image and each of us as necessary as the moon.
A Hashkiveinu prayer, for peace and safety at night:
When I wrap my tallit over my head, I feel protected by Your sheltering presence. Night comes, our loving Parent, and the dangers of darkness -- accidents, gay-bashers, nightmares. Please wrap us in Your shelter of peace and keep us from harm, and we will praise You when we awake.
A prayer about harmful speech:
I don't want to speak words that hurt, or to be hurt by other's words. Please God help our tongues be tender and our skins be thick.
And a meditation about unity for before the Shema:
Each of us is different, each of us is one. Our atoms all knew each other in the old country. Let us find our unity in You.
___________
The class is over, but there may be another opportunity or two to write in a group with Andrew's guidance. I really enjoy the group writing experience, and immediate feedback. Otherwise, I rarely sit down to write unless I have or give myself an assignment.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Siddur Writings
I've been taking this class that is intended to result in the writing of several new prayers for our congregation's new prayerbook, or siddur. The teacher reads us prayers and poetry to get us into the spirit of things, tells us which prayers are needed, and then has us write in class. Here are the prayers I've come up with so far.
On seeing a rainbow:
Thank You, Source of all, for the rainbow, the spectrum, the colors that are both many and one. Thank You for its beauty, thank You for the joy, thank You for the blessing. When sun meets rain, when despair meets hope, when warmth and water mingle, colors blossom.
After having a transformative encounter with another person:
A fountain of blessings are You, God, who has touched me in the person of my sister, my brother, my kin. Each of us reaching towards you, we touch each other in kindness, with compassion, for growth. Everyone is different, but each shares sparks of Your holiness, and when we meet, we kindle a gentle, warming fire.
Two prayers for travel:
Source of peace, when Your people camped in the desert, You camped with them, and led them in safety. Please be with us as we travel today. Keep us from illness and accident, and let no harm come to us because of our sexual orientation or gender identity. May we praise You for the beauties we will see and the people we will meet, and may we bring blessing where we travel and return safely home.
There will be new dust on my shoes, new tastes in my mouth, new sounds in my ears. I'm planning a journey, God and I don't want to leave You behind. Come with me as we drive, ride, fly, sail, and wait in line. Let us together face the fears and joys of the new. Let us together see the beauty in places and persons. Let us travel together, safe from illness, accident, or injury, and return home in peace.
And three versions of Birkat Hagomel, the blessing for recovery from serious illness or the safe return from a long journey. Each includes the pray-er's prayer and a congregational response:
P: Thank You, Source of blessings, for blessing me, sustaining me, and bringing me safely here -- back to my home, back to my health, back to my synagogue family.
C: We also thank God for these blessings, and welcome you back to us. May God continue to bless you.
P: There were times when I wondered if I was going to make it. But here I am, back with you, thank God.
C: Amen.
P: It's good to be here, now, with you.
C: Hinei ma tov.
On seeing a rainbow:
Thank You, Source of all, for the rainbow, the spectrum, the colors that are both many and one. Thank You for its beauty, thank You for the joy, thank You for the blessing. When sun meets rain, when despair meets hope, when warmth and water mingle, colors blossom.
After having a transformative encounter with another person:
A fountain of blessings are You, God, who has touched me in the person of my sister, my brother, my kin. Each of us reaching towards you, we touch each other in kindness, with compassion, for growth. Everyone is different, but each shares sparks of Your holiness, and when we meet, we kindle a gentle, warming fire.
Two prayers for travel:
Source of peace, when Your people camped in the desert, You camped with them, and led them in safety. Please be with us as we travel today. Keep us from illness and accident, and let no harm come to us because of our sexual orientation or gender identity. May we praise You for the beauties we will see and the people we will meet, and may we bring blessing where we travel and return safely home.
There will be new dust on my shoes, new tastes in my mouth, new sounds in my ears. I'm planning a journey, God and I don't want to leave You behind. Come with me as we drive, ride, fly, sail, and wait in line. Let us together face the fears and joys of the new. Let us together see the beauty in places and persons. Let us travel together, safe from illness, accident, or injury, and return home in peace.
And three versions of Birkat Hagomel, the blessing for recovery from serious illness or the safe return from a long journey. Each includes the pray-er's prayer and a congregational response:
P: Thank You, Source of blessings, for blessing me, sustaining me, and bringing me safely here -- back to my home, back to my health, back to my synagogue family.
C: We also thank God for these blessings, and welcome you back to us. May God continue to bless you.
P: There were times when I wondered if I was going to make it. But here I am, back with you, thank God.
C: Amen.
P: It's good to be here, now, with you.
C: Hinei ma tov.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Art Show
I'm still sailing from having successfully completed my performance at our company's annual art and talent show. In past years, I've just stood up there, alone or with another employee playing keyboard, and played (badly) some music.
This time, I thought I'd make it more of a 'show and tell' event. I brought all seven sizes of recorders in my collection. I played a scale on each of the two highest-pitched ones and, along with my friend Jack, played brief sections of three Renaissance and Baroque duets on the other five sizes of recorders. As I set up my music stand, and in between the music, I delivered myself of a funny monologue on how the recorder came to have that name in English (when its name includes the term 'flute' in French, Italian, and German), and took a quick glance at the history of playing music on recorders and the design of recorders. My first scale was pretty awful, but I got it better on the second try. The duets went very nicely, despite some vibrato on my part.
There was also some classical guitar playing, poetry reading, a funny scene from a play, and belly dancing. Along with some very tasty food. What's not to like?
This time, I thought I'd make it more of a 'show and tell' event. I brought all seven sizes of recorders in my collection. I played a scale on each of the two highest-pitched ones and, along with my friend Jack, played brief sections of three Renaissance and Baroque duets on the other five sizes of recorders. As I set up my music stand, and in between the music, I delivered myself of a funny monologue on how the recorder came to have that name in English (when its name includes the term 'flute' in French, Italian, and German), and took a quick glance at the history of playing music on recorders and the design of recorders. My first scale was pretty awful, but I got it better on the second try. The duets went very nicely, despite some vibrato on my part.
There was also some classical guitar playing, poetry reading, a funny scene from a play, and belly dancing. Along with some very tasty food. What's not to like?
Sunday, September 30, 2007
The Sun Returns
It's sunny today, and has been off and on most of this week, and my solar-powered emotions are on the upswing.
Boredom has not been a problem, since I had some evening activity every night except Tuesday, when I stayed in and watched season premieres of my favorite TV shows. The week's events covered the gamut from a blind date through a visit with my state legislator.
Yesterday I rested with recorder playing in the afternoon and British murder mysteries on PBS. Today I also played recorder with a pal, putting together a demonstration of the seven different sizes of recorder that I own for a talent show at work later this week. And my next ritual obligation, co-leading a Shabbat service with the rabbi, isn't for three weeks.
So I get to kick back for a little bit, which may lead to more postings.
Boredom has not been a problem, since I had some evening activity every night except Tuesday, when I stayed in and watched season premieres of my favorite TV shows. The week's events covered the gamut from a blind date through a visit with my state legislator.
Yesterday I rested with recorder playing in the afternoon and British murder mysteries on PBS. Today I also played recorder with a pal, putting together a demonstration of the seven different sizes of recorder that I own for a talent show at work later this week. And my next ritual obligation, co-leading a Shabbat service with the rabbi, isn't for three weeks.
So I get to kick back for a little bit, which may lead to more postings.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Happy New Year?
It's only fair that I post not only when I'm in a good spiritual place, but also when I'm in not so good a place.
I slept in yesterday and ate a small breakfast, and got to shul by the end of Yom Kippur Shacharit, at about 11:30, and stayed there through the break the fast at 7:30. The service I led went pretty well, despite my anticipatory anxiety - it's been about a decade since I last put on a kittel and led a High Holy Days service. This year's Mincha had about 60 congregants, which is apparently rather a lot for this relatively unloved service. And I did get a ride home afterwards, which was very nice.
But, I am drained dry. I am tired and glum and my digestion is upset, and the sky is gray, etc. On the bright side, I'm having a massage today, and am looking slightly forward to preparing a demonstration of all seven different sizes of my recorders for my co-workers at a talent/art show in about 10 days.
I'm OK, all things considered, and hope all is well with you, dear reader.
I slept in yesterday and ate a small breakfast, and got to shul by the end of Yom Kippur Shacharit, at about 11:30, and stayed there through the break the fast at 7:30. The service I led went pretty well, despite my anticipatory anxiety - it's been about a decade since I last put on a kittel and led a High Holy Days service. This year's Mincha had about 60 congregants, which is apparently rather a lot for this relatively unloved service. And I did get a ride home afterwards, which was very nice.
But, I am drained dry. I am tired and glum and my digestion is upset, and the sky is gray, etc. On the bright side, I'm having a massage today, and am looking slightly forward to preparing a demonstration of all seven different sizes of my recorders for my co-workers at a talent/art show in about 10 days.
I'm OK, all things considered, and hope all is well with you, dear reader.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Shabbat Shuvah Sermon
Daniel Chesir was kind enough (or perhaps busy enough) to invite me to deliver the drash at his Shabbat Shuvah service this year, which he has led each of the 30 years since he co-founded Congregation Sha'ar Zahav. Since the rest of my preparation for the High Holy Days was going along OK, and since I had in fact been engaged in teshuvah during the month of Elul, I figured that it wouldn't be too hard. So, here it is:
Sermon on Shabbat Shuvah, 2007
This is Shabbat Shuvah, the Sabbath of Return. The name comes from the Haftarah text, which Daniel just chanted, from Hosea, "Shuvah, Yisraeil, ad Adonai elohecha." "Return, O Israel, to Adonai your God, for you have fallen because of your sin."
The theme of return also appears prominently in the Rosh Hashanah liturgy, "U-teshuva, u't'filah, u'tzedaka ma'avirin et roah hag'zerah." “But repentance, and prayer, and charity avert the severe decree.” Teshuvah means both return and repentance, or perhaps return to God by means of repentance: making a serious examination of our past shortcomings and making efforts to improve, especially to improve our relationships with God, others, and ourselves.
During the month of Elul we have had the special opportunity to examine ourselves and return to a closer relationship with God: to heal all our relationships by making necessary apologies, and to appreciate the relief that can come from getting rid of whatever it was we wanted to leave behind us when we cast our bread crumbs or pebbles into the Bay at tashlich.
But really, the opportunity to return to God is always ours. As our Yom Kippur prayerbook says, "Let us not blaspheme the Most High, by saying that there ever comes a time when sincere prayer is not heard, when sincere repentance is turned away. But if we cannot find prayer and repentance on this Day of Repentance, if we cannot make a start towards peace and wholeness before the sun sets on this one Day of Peace, then when shall repentance come?"
Teshuvah begins when we realize our need to act. If we sense that the distance between us and God has increased, God is not the one who has moved; we have.
On the bright side, to return to God does not require a vast journey. Towards the end of Deuteronomy, Moses talks of a time when the Israelites have turned away from God and been banished from the Holy Land, and the people "return to Adonai your God, and you and your children heed God's command with all your heart and soul, just as I enjoin upon you this day, then Adonai your God will restore your fortunes and take you back in love." And to perform this return is "not too baffling for you, nor is it beyond reach. ... It is very close to you, in your mouth and in your heart, to observe it."
In fact, God will help us to return. At the end of the Torah service, we pray, "Hashiveinu Adonai eilecha v'nashuvah." "Return us to you, O God, and we shall return."
Teshuvah is in our mouth and in our hearts: An examination of our hearts, to see where our distance from God is causing pain, to us and to those around us; then using our mouths to make apologies to those we've harmed and to God for our failures, and then making a renewed effort to live our lives as children of God. It can help us in this effort to remember that we were created in the image and likeness of God, and that we have in us a “yetzer tov,” an urge towards doing good, in addition to the "yetzer hara," the urge towards evil.
Making teshuvah is a bit like doing meditation: we try to focus on a word or image, or our breath, and our busy minds continually present us with other thoughts and images and sensations. However, we don't stop meditating when our minds do that. We simply notice that we've lost our focus, and we gently and kindly return our attention to that focus. This practice strengthens our spirit and our ability to keep our minds from going places that will do us no good. When we're trying to return to God, and we notice that we've swerved away from God and towards something that is, as the Buddhists would say, less skillful, we don't give up on teshuvah. We simply notice that we've turned in the wrong direction and gently turn ourselves back towards God.
And so I'd like to end with a prayer that I wrote about our continuing efforts towards teshuvah:
In the Divine image You created us, Adonai. We strive to measure up to that image, and we fail, and then we get up and strive again. Please teach us that we grow closer to Your image every time we get up again, and give us joy in that knowledge. Blessed are You, Adonai, who lifts up the fallen.
Sermon on Shabbat Shuvah, 2007
This is Shabbat Shuvah, the Sabbath of Return. The name comes from the Haftarah text, which Daniel just chanted, from Hosea, "Shuvah, Yisraeil, ad Adonai elohecha." "Return, O Israel, to Adonai your God, for you have fallen because of your sin."
The theme of return also appears prominently in the Rosh Hashanah liturgy, "U-teshuva, u't'filah, u'tzedaka ma'avirin et roah hag'zerah." “But repentance, and prayer, and charity avert the severe decree.” Teshuvah means both return and repentance, or perhaps return to God by means of repentance: making a serious examination of our past shortcomings and making efforts to improve, especially to improve our relationships with God, others, and ourselves.
During the month of Elul we have had the special opportunity to examine ourselves and return to a closer relationship with God: to heal all our relationships by making necessary apologies, and to appreciate the relief that can come from getting rid of whatever it was we wanted to leave behind us when we cast our bread crumbs or pebbles into the Bay at tashlich.
But really, the opportunity to return to God is always ours. As our Yom Kippur prayerbook says, "Let us not blaspheme the Most High, by saying that there ever comes a time when sincere prayer is not heard, when sincere repentance is turned away. But if we cannot find prayer and repentance on this Day of Repentance, if we cannot make a start towards peace and wholeness before the sun sets on this one Day of Peace, then when shall repentance come?"
Teshuvah begins when we realize our need to act. If we sense that the distance between us and God has increased, God is not the one who has moved; we have.
On the bright side, to return to God does not require a vast journey. Towards the end of Deuteronomy, Moses talks of a time when the Israelites have turned away from God and been banished from the Holy Land, and the people "return to Adonai your God, and you and your children heed God's command with all your heart and soul, just as I enjoin upon you this day, then Adonai your God will restore your fortunes and take you back in love." And to perform this return is "not too baffling for you, nor is it beyond reach. ... It is very close to you, in your mouth and in your heart, to observe it."
In fact, God will help us to return. At the end of the Torah service, we pray, "Hashiveinu Adonai eilecha v'nashuvah." "Return us to you, O God, and we shall return."
Teshuvah is in our mouth and in our hearts: An examination of our hearts, to see where our distance from God is causing pain, to us and to those around us; then using our mouths to make apologies to those we've harmed and to God for our failures, and then making a renewed effort to live our lives as children of God. It can help us in this effort to remember that we were created in the image and likeness of God, and that we have in us a “yetzer tov,” an urge towards doing good, in addition to the "yetzer hara," the urge towards evil.
Making teshuvah is a bit like doing meditation: we try to focus on a word or image, or our breath, and our busy minds continually present us with other thoughts and images and sensations. However, we don't stop meditating when our minds do that. We simply notice that we've lost our focus, and we gently and kindly return our attention to that focus. This practice strengthens our spirit and our ability to keep our minds from going places that will do us no good. When we're trying to return to God, and we notice that we've swerved away from God and towards something that is, as the Buddhists would say, less skillful, we don't give up on teshuvah. We simply notice that we've turned in the wrong direction and gently turn ourselves back towards God.
And so I'd like to end with a prayer that I wrote about our continuing efforts towards teshuvah:
In the Divine image You created us, Adonai. We strive to measure up to that image, and we fail, and then we get up and strive again. Please teach us that we grow closer to Your image every time we get up again, and give us joy in that knowledge. Blessed are You, Adonai, who lifts up the fallen.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Be All that You Can Be
To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end in life.-Baruch Spinoza
This saying makes the same point as the story about Rabbi Zusya, who taught that he would not be asked in the World to Come why he was not Moses, but rather, why he was not Zusya.
I'm trying to prepare for the High Holy Days with introspection and service preparation and a to-do list. The topic of my meditation last night was change, what I need to change about myself, what is scary about that change, how I can deal with the fear, including the fear that I'll never be able to make changes that I've tried and failed to make in the past.
If it were easy to make and keep New Year's resolutions, there would be no need for people to keep on making them, or for the thousands of self-help books that keep on being published. I do know a lot about what doesn't work for me, but less about what does work. My yetzer hara, or destructive impulse, is strong. But I do not despair. I have done new things, and have improved myself in some ways, even if only for a time. And each day, in fact, each moment, presents the opportunity for a fresh start.
May we all be written in the Book of Life for a sweet and healthy New Year.
This saying makes the same point as the story about Rabbi Zusya, who taught that he would not be asked in the World to Come why he was not Moses, but rather, why he was not Zusya.
I'm trying to prepare for the High Holy Days with introspection and service preparation and a to-do list. The topic of my meditation last night was change, what I need to change about myself, what is scary about that change, how I can deal with the fear, including the fear that I'll never be able to make changes that I've tried and failed to make in the past.
If it were easy to make and keep New Year's resolutions, there would be no need for people to keep on making them, or for the thousands of self-help books that keep on being published. I do know a lot about what doesn't work for me, but less about what does work. My yetzer hara, or destructive impulse, is strong. But I do not despair. I have done new things, and have improved myself in some ways, even if only for a time. And each day, in fact, each moment, presents the opportunity for a fresh start.
May we all be written in the Book of Life for a sweet and healthy New Year.
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