A School Assignment

Here's an "A" paper I wrote in 1968, for a Composition class:

My friends and fellow Santa Monicans, I am inexpressibly happy to be back today in the city of my childhood: this beautiful city with its beautiful beaches and beautiful people, so many of you who were once my neighbors. I am a graduate of deal old Samohi (I remember a certain Composition teacher ...), and this background has certainly helped me in travelling that long, hard road to our nation's capitol, the end of which I have so nearly reached, and which, with your help, I shall reach at last!

But I have not come here to talk about me. You already know much about me. I came to tell you about our great society and about how, if elected your Chief Executive, I shall maintain and improve on its greatness.

We live in the age of efficiency. Computers can do in minutes work that it would take men years to accomplish. And what keeps the computers going, I ask you? Numbers! They are programmed with numbers, they process numbers, they read out numbers. From paint-by-number to war strategy, computers and numbers, numbers and computers. Your prescription is numbered, your bank account is numbered, you are numbered, I am numbered. 432-567-8022 is speaking to you today.

This is efficiency. A Social Security number is unique; whereas there might be a million John Smiths. Your number can't be confused with anyone else's. Only with a number can you be an individual. In my administration, your Social Security number, remember its uniqueness, will be used for everything. This will simplify matters, giving you only one important number to remember. It will be your phone number, your address, your prescription, and your bank account number. It will identify you to the census computers, the Health, Education, and Welfare Department computers, the Defense Department computers, and the computer dating agency. It will be your automobile, dog, marriage, and hunting or fishing license number. All your identification will bear this number. The whole world will know you by your Social Security number, and you will be truly socially secure.

And, perhaps, with use, number will acquire personality. Here is an introduction of the future. "375-92-3788, this is 247-86-3519 (Isn't that a noble-sounding number?)" A reverent hush follows.

So! If I am elected, I will do my best to institute and maintain a uninumerical system with the Social Security number used, as identification to people, organizations, and computers, with all the efficiency and simplicity such a system will bring. Elect me your president and our nation will be socially secure.

Thank you.