Today's thought

Actually, it's my horoscope:

Today's New Moon falls in your 11th House of Long-Term Goals, luring you to think about the distant future instead of the next few days. But instead of kicking back and slipping into a series of daydreams, it's best to take the bull by the horns and methodically build your ideal fantasy one concrete thought at a time. Planning is very useful now as long as you are willing to follow through with the work later on.

Since I'm on vacation until January 5th, now is an especially good time for me to do some planning. In between my mad social whirl, of course. I went to a long "hang out around some munchies" party on Christmas day, and yesterday I went on a hike with Wilderness Women in the morning and attended Kung Pau Kosher Comedy in the evening. Today I get to have acupuncture and do a little shopping and my laundry.

As for planning, I have some questions to resolve about my Times Mirror pension, which is being held by the Tribune, which has just declared bankruptcy. And eventually Jim's old flat will be ready for occupancy, and I'll have to finally decide whether to move downstairs. And then decide when to retire, and what to do with myself then, etc. That is to say, "build my ideal fantasy." Off to the drawing board.

One Hundred Million Miracles

"People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child--our own two eyes. All is a miracle."

Thich Nhat Hanh, "Miracle of Mindfulness"

Which reminded me of Einstein's saying:

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Which brought me to the title of this posting, which is a song from the musical "Flower Drum Song" about all the wonders of daily life.

Which reminded me of the more temperate approach of the Jewish rabbis, who ask folks to find one hundred occasions every day to bless God for something.

Considering these thoughts might be a good test for depression: if you cannot at least imagine a frame of mind in which everything might be viewed as a miracle, you're depressed.

Things are going pretty well for me right now. The weather is clear and sunny, and I have warm clothing, a roof over my head, and friends. Yes, there are problems in the world, but, yes, there are also many, many miracles.

Let's Hear it for Impermanence!

Here's a great thought from today's Buddhist wisdom:

No matter how bad a state of mind you may get into, if you keep strong and hold out, eventually the floating clouds must vanish and the withering wind must cease.-Dogen

A very good thought for when one's mind is otherwise full of uncomfortable stuff.

What's Worth Saying?

Regrettably, I celebrated the Jewish New Year by engaging in lashon hara, or evil speech, which is one of the worst sins in Jewish theology. I kvetched to one friend about another one. Such talk, however true it might be, is a no-no, because it does nobody any good. In fact, it brings some (at least) spiritual harm to the speaker, the listener, and the person spoken about.

Such talk is also condemned in Buddhist writings:

Abandoning gossip, he abstains from gossip; he speaks at the right time, speaks what is fact, speaks on what is good, speaks on the Dhamma and the Discipline; at the right time he speaks such words as are worth recording, reasonable, moderate, and beneficial.

This statement helpfully suggests what one should talk about instead of what is condemned, and in terms very similar to those used by the Jewish sages, who recommend that every conversation include a word of Torah.

Sometimes my conversations are uplifting, although I will confess a real tendency towards irreverence. Sometimes I catch myself before saying something unedifying. But more often, my mouth runs uncontrolled, snide and caustic. That's a habit I picked up at my father's knee (and other low joints), and am trying to lose.

Jews are lucky to have two New Years to celebrate, the Hebrew and the Gregorian one. This gives us two opportunities each year to make New Year's resolutions. (Actually, there are four different Jewish new years, but Rosh Hashanah is the main one.)

I wish us all a sweet and healthy new year, and much success in whatever resolutions we have made.

Action is the Magic Word

That's something my mother used to say. Here's what Benjamin Disraeli had to say on the subject: Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.

I've been having a serious problem with procrastination lately. Whenever I think about the chores that I'm not doing, I feel really bad. But when I take myself in hand and actually dig into them, it's not so bad. And I feel much better as I actually get stuff done.

There has to be some reason that I hang back from my duties despite the emotional unpleasantness it causes. And some reason why I keep forgetting how much better it feels to dig in and dig out. It's a puzzlement to me.

Sophia and Prudence

I produced this year's TIkkun Leil Shavuot (late-night study in celebration of the Jewish festival of Shavuot) at my synagogue. I put together and co-led the festival evening service, recruited seven teachers and prepared and taught my own class on meditation, and dealt with logistics and publicity. As a reward, I arranged to have my favorite synagogian, Andrew Ramer, teach a class on writing gay midrash - which he has done on several prior occasions that I somehow couldn't manage to attend. He gave us a few pages of Biblical texts that could easily be read to have queer implications, and invited those of us who wished to write on them to do so.

I picked the following two quotes from the book of Proverbs: I, Wisdom, live with Prudence. Chochmah/Sophia/Wisdom cries aloud in the streets, raises her voice in the squares. At the head of busy streets she calls, at the entrance of the gates, in the city, she speaks out. Say to Sophia, "You are my sister."

While continuing to listen to Andrew, I wrote the following:

Sophia speaks out at the entrance of the gates in the city. She lives with Prudence, who is a therapist. Sophie participates in "Take Back the Night" marches, and corners politicians in their offices, while Prudence writes letters to the editor. They met in a consciousness-raising group in the 70s and have been together ever since.

Prayer for Social Activists

I just learned that the new Reform prayerbook, Mishkan Tefilah, includes the following as an alternative to the strict translation of Mah Tovu:

May the One whose spirit is with us in every righteous deed,
be with all who work for the good of humanity
and bear the burdens of others,
and who give bread to the hungry,
who clothe the naked,
and take the friendless into their homes.
May the work of their hands endure,
and may the seed they sow bring abundant harvest.

It seems like a really good invocation for SFOP meetings and for activists and helpers of every stripe.

The Season of Birds and Bees

Spring has sprung in my neck of the woods, and birdsong has blossomed forth along with the cherry trees. The increased hours of sun improve my mood immensely. And I'm learning to chant the festival melodies for a few verses of the Song of Songs for services this Shabbat.

In case you're not familiar with it, the Song of Songs is a book of the Bible (Jewish and Christian) that is leaping with erotic poetry and imagery from the natural world. It's assigned to be read in synagogues during the week of Passover, which is itself a springtime festival.

The eroticism of the season is not confined to the Bible. Yesterday, on my way home, I saw two blackbirds engaged in copulation. And this noon, on my way to lunch, I saw two pigeons similarly occupied. The emerging blossoms and increased light appear to be an avian aphrodisiac.

Ah, to be young and feathered!

And Another Blessing

That I wrote in a Kavvanot Class that the rabbi led maybe a year ago. We were asked to write a blessing for what we wanted for ourselves, now:

In the Divine image You created us, Adonai. We strive to measure up to that image, and fail, and get up, and strive again. Please teach us that we grow closer to Your image every time we get up, and give us joy in that knowledge. Blessed are You, Adonai, who lifts up the fallen.

Leftover Prayer

For some strange reason, I left out one of the prayers that I wrote at the last session. It didn't get posted here, it didn't get sent to the prayerbook editors, and it will probably get left out.

But I've been thinking about it the last several days, and finally located it. So, here it is, and I might as well send it on to the prayerbook people too. It's a second pre-Shema kavvanah, and they've already selected one of mine for rather prominent featuring, so I may be competing with myself here.

Help us, Creator of Unity, to pull together our scattered selves into one, to collect our thoughts and bring them here, and to be fully present now, with ourselves, with each other, and with You.

Viva Esther!

Happy Purim and Chag Sameach, All,

I went to the synagogue's Purim party last night for the first time in a decade or so. One of the major attractions of Purim is the commandment to get drunk, and since I don't drink, I lack that incentive to attend. This year, I was asked to chant some of the Megillah, the Hebrew book of Esther. Since I want to keep up my chanting abilities, I agreed to do so, but was a bit taken back on learining that I'd have to chant from a Hebrew scroll without vowels or punctuation, like the Torah.

I had another chant in the queue first, and didn't start learning the portion until after the gay Jewish retreat at which I chanted a bit of Torah. I was talking to one of the rabbis in attendance about the Megillah chant, and she mentioned that she had heard someone chant Megillah to the tune of "Don't cry for me, Argentina," and it brought the house down. Lightbulb time.

I had been planning to attend the party (which is a costume event) as Carmen Miranda. So, I thought I'd chant my portion to a melody from the opera Carmen, the Habanera. I had to do serious surgery on the music to make it fit the Hebrew words of the chant instead of the original French text. And then memorize what I'd figured out so I could chant it with only the Hebrew consonants on the Megillah scroll to remind me.

It went almost as well as I'd hoped. I wore dark lipstick and my mother's chunky jewelry and a sarong/toga wrap of glittery silver/purple/green fabric, and a matching head wrap with plastic fruit attached using sticky-backed velcro tabs. The look was so NOT me. I'm more a tailored, L.L. Bean/preppy kind of gal.)

I was a little worried about deviating so far from the prescribed chant melody, but the first chanter also left it in the dust, doing a wonderful hillbilly rabbi sort of thing in coveralls with a southern hill accent. Intervening chanters who had followed the rules were nearly ignored. When I got up there and belted my high first note in a trained operatic soprano, people sat up and took notice, and when they figured out what I was singing and got the musical joke, some started to clap along in rhythm. Cries of 'Bravo' and 'Encore' greeted me on the way back to my seat.

I'm already thinking of what to do for next year. ...

The Last Prayer Writing Session?

We're getting pretty close to finalizing the text of the new prayerbook, so we had what was billed as the last writing session a few weeks ago to fill in some of the gaps. Here's what I wrote:

Wrestling with Torah

Creator who spoke the world into being, we are about to read Your words. Some words are hard, and we bruise ourselves trying to batter them into a shape we can hear. Some words are so bright they make our eyes water and we cannot read them clearly. Some words we have read again and again until they seem leached of meaning. Source of meaning, please help all Your words to speak to us once more.

B'nai Mitzvah prayer

Today I take on the commandments, I enter the covenant, I join the community. This is not the end of my journey, but the beginning. I ask the Eternal and you to help me fulfill the commandments, keep the covenant, and become a full member of the community. Let us journey on together in peace and love and joy.

Caring for the Human Temple

Rabbi Hillel once said that taking a bath was a mitzvah. Since we are made in the Divine image, caring for ourselves is a holy act. It can be hard to be consistent in taking good care of our bodies and our spirits. Source of life and Indwelling Presence, please help us to care for ourselves with wisdom and discipline and love, that we may have the health and strength we need to be fully ourselves and fully Yours.

Let a Smile be ...

Today's bit of wisdom from the Jewish quarter of Beliefnet is as follows:

To smile at your neighbor is more important than to treat him to a drink.- Johanan b. Nappaha, Talmud: Ketubot

As I'm in a particularly smily mood today, it resonated with me. Although I find myself smiling more when the sun is shining, there are other stimuli that work. And receiving good news is one of them.

In that regard, though, one's mindset helps determine what will be deemed to be good news and just how good it will strike one. Another piece of today's wisdom, Buddhist flavored, addresses that point:

Before, this mind went wandering however it pleased, wherever it wanted, by whatever way that it liked. Today I will hold it aptly in check--as one wielding a goad, an elephant in rut.-Dhammapada, 23, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.

I've been following a piece of advice I received in a mini-session of spiritual direction at last weekend's retreat on Jewish Spirituality - which is to constantly pray a 'metta' prayer for myself when I don't need to be focusing on something else. I worked up my version of this prayer some years ago and use it on occasion to wellwish someone who happens to pop into my mind:

May ___ be kind and loving; may ___ be peaceful and at ease; may ___ be well; may ___ be happy.

So I've been praying this for myself the past week when walking to the bus stop, to the office, towards home, etc. And I think it really helps my mood, as well as encouraging me to act kindly and lovingly, and to relax, etc.

It's a lovely sunny day today, and I have social plans for this weekend and synagogue work of interest to do. And I'm trying to keep my mind running in peaceful, positive channels. It's a good day. Zeh hayom asah Adonai, nagila v'nis m'cha vo. This is the day God has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it.

The Latest Prayers

We had another writing session at shul last Saturday, and here's what came of it:

Prayer for Rain

In the beginning, You made the heavens to separate the waters above from the waters below. Creator of Life, the waters below are drying out. Please open the heavens and send Your life-giving rains on us here below.

Thanksgiving for Rain

Blessed are You, Creator and Sustainer of the Universe, for the rain You are sending to water Your world. The plants thank You; the rivers and lakes thank You; the animals and people thank You. We drink in Your love and give You praise.

Blessings for Great Art

I.

Made in the divine image, we humans are also creators. Thank You, Maker of the Universe, for the work of creation that I'm experiencing now. The artist has brought such beauty into the world that I think of You and give praise.

II.

Wow, God. There's a lump in my throat, the hairs on my skin are standing on end. This is so great that I have to think that You had something to do with it.

Meditation after Natural Disasters

Nature has burst her bounds, spreading devastation and death. Innocence and peace are shattered.

Oceans are supposed to stay beyond the shores; the earth is supposed to be still. We cast around for explanations, for blame. But it is beyond us.

"Where were you," God asked Job, "when I laid the earth's foundations?" We weren't there; we don't know why this happened. We can only provide whatever help we can and pray that others do too.

Prayer on Recovery from Mental Illness

I know better than to claim that I'm cured. Victory over this enemy, with whom I often collaborate, is probably not final. But I am better today than I've been in some time, and I know what I can do if it starts getting bad again, and for this I thank God.

A Reading on Loneliness and Community

For you who are standing alone in the crowded room, you who don't know how to talk with the people next to you in the pew, you who cannot find within yourself Sabbath joy or a sense of belonging: you are not alone. Many around you share these feelings, this sense of isolation and powerlessness. Even in feeling alone, you are not alone.

God said, "It is not good for people to be alone." And so we are driven to find partners, to find community. Here at Sha'ar Zahav, we are a community, formed to provide a home for those who were rejected by other communities because of our sexual orientation. Sha'ar Zahav is our home, whether we feel at home or not. Sha'ar Zahav is our family and community. Here are the hands that help us, the arms that embrace us, those who call us family.