To Wake Up

Life’s Work

“Life’s work is to wake up,” wrote Pema Chodron. This is a Buddhist sentiment. “Waking up” is a modern way of stating the goal of enlightenment, the state of knowing that the whole universe is connected, and that we are part of this whole. Knowing that all beings are made of the same star stuff. Knowing that the way we treat others affects us, and that the way we treat ourselves affects others, because we are all connected.

We get into trouble when we think of ourselves as separate from others, as separate from the universe. We can wind up acting selfishly, treating ourselves as more important than others. Or we can lose sight of our own worth, treating others better than we do ourselves.

I have fallen into both errors over the years. I grew up in the middle class. I expected to go to college and earn a decent living. When I decided against the careers that my music degree qualified me for, I had the means to complete law school without having to get a job or a loan.

I was doing worthwhile work as a lawyer, but felt unworthy of the privileges life had bestowed on me.

I had also been feeling bad about my lesbian nature as sinful. But then I met gay Christians and studied the context of the Biblical proscriptions against homosexual conduct. I also came to wonder why same-sex coupling was seen as so much more sinful than other Biblically proscribed conduct, like wearing blended fabrics or eating shellfish.

I learned about periods in history when gay pairings were affirmed, and other times when gays were beaten to death or burned, and how many were medically tortured in efforts to change their sexual orientation.

That was when I woke up to that fact that I was part of a misunderstood and oppressed minority. I came to believe that I would help myself and many others by working to end that oppression.

Nowadays, when I am tempted to believe myself separate from others, I can remember that I am part of the LGBT community, am a human being like other human beings, and am made of the same star stuff as the rest of the universe.