Things you learn through the dark times, the disruption, the transplanting. Things you learn when you have to start anew--in a new city, with a new guardian. WHen the only constants are your 11-year-old self or your 15-year-old self and the brother whose major role in your life has been as your sparring partner.
What do you learn from such times? Not to rely on what has gone before, not to rely on parent or grandparent, or friends, or uncles or aunts. You learn to walk a tightrope -- with longing for what is now gone on one side, and fear of the unknown on the other; each side descending to an invisible abyss.
You learn to root yourself in yourself, and in the present, and in whatever belongings have accompanied you in the latest move.
You rely on your intellect and your musical talent, and on your ability to just keep on going. Even if the world looks so bleak that bedtime is the brightest part of the day, or when you start crying for no clear reason and cannot stop.
And books are always your friends; a source of beauty, companionship, adventure, and escape. Escape into worlds where challenges are resolved and kids belong securely where they are. The adults in your life aren't cruel, mostly, just distracted and immature themselves.
It sucks when the teenages is the most responsible member of the household. You become more serious and less light-hearted. More cautious and less adventuresome. You look to the future with more dread than hope.
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