Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I hate changes. Twice during my childhood, i was plucked from one family in one city with one group of friends and sent into a completely different situation. This left me with an aversion to imposed changes, and may help explain why I find it hard to change myself.

I was once asked, "What is your theory of personal change?" My answer, "I don't." I've made countless attempts to quit a bad habit or form a good one, without lasting success. I can cling to a change for a few days or weeks, but one slip and it's gone.

I have a committee inside my head that controls my decisions. Among its members are a diligent do-gooder and a sedentary sloth who tend to be deadlocked when I try to change myself.

That said, I have some techniques that help me make some changes for limited periods of time.

Making a commitment to do something at a set time and place with friends is the most effective one. We all see each other doing this thing--hopefully enjoying it, profiting from it, or both--and these experiences reinforce my commitment to keep on doing it.

Other techniques I've tried are less effective. For example, I am pretty good at writing things down. So I write down my weight once a week and every day I record the number of steps registered by my pedometer. But I don't make much effort to keep above a certain number of steps each day, or below any particular weight. That would be too much like work.

Anyway, if I had to make a significant change, I would probably try to do it all at once, because a great deal of back-sliding can be foreseen. If I had to, say, give up sugar, I would have a grand clear-out of my home and try to stock the yummiest types of everything I am allowed to eat. I would try to limit my lapses to meals I eat out with friends, hoping that they could help keep my in check. And I would make every effort to be kind to myself about those lapses, take them in stride, give myself partial credit where it is due, and carry on.